HopeFul Reflections

I’ve mentioned my relationship before on this blog. I can never stop talking about this girl. I tell anyone with ears about how lucky I am to have this girl in my life. She’s been such a great supporter of mine throughout my residency training, she’s been such a comfort during the stressful times in my life even retrospectively, and she provides me a certain confidence about my future.

The beginning

I met her on the dating app called Hinge. As pessimistic as I am I never expected to find anything real on a mobile app. Then I met her and we had our first date. It was exciting but wow were we awkward. We talked for four hours, but we still weren’t ourselves yet. I texted her after and luckily she still wanted to talk to me(thankfully). We kept talking and had some more dates. The more I saw of her heart the more I fell. The more I fell the more I realized the abyss had no floor. Her laughter has become my favorite sound. Her smile is how I know I am home. Talking to her about my day, no matter how mundane, is how I know my day is complete. Every experience was new and exciting. Every new story was a study on my new favorite subject. I had met the person I had prayed for for years.

Certainty

As time has gone on I say with certainty that with each passing day I am only more sure of how I feel about her. For our most recent outing we went to do errands and walk aimlessly around town. We aren’t the most exciting couple. We’re broke and trying to advance our careers, but we’re happy to be around each other. The early period of our relationship was exciting but I wouldn’t trade it for what we have now. She makes me even happier now, but now everything is different. Before, I used to enjoy quizzing her about her favorite things, but now I know what she likes and know what activities she enjoys doing with me. Before I used to wonder if she’d be able to help me with a problem, but now I know she’ll always be there for me. Before I used to wonder how she felt about me, but now I simply know.

Of all the things she’s given me, the thing I’ve become most appreciative of recently is the security. I feel safe with her. I feel comfortable being myself. I feel more sure of myself around her. I feel sure of our future and what we want. The certainty we have now is 1000x greater to me than the novelty of when we first met.

This feeling of certainty overtaking novelty exists in my friendships as well, but this relationship is where I feel it most clearly. No other relationship has inspired me to the point of writing about it. I’m not worried when we sit in silence or just watch any random old movie in sweats. We’re comfortable. Even if our day is sitting in silence while we study together I am grateful to God that I had that day.

-JKG