Emotions can overwhelm, causing reactions we later regret. I’ve been working on better understanding my feelings before responding. It’s an ongoing process, but I’d like to share some things that have helped me.
Recently, a friend said I wasn’t important to them and that they don’t need me and that made me feel devalued. My first instinct was to lash out in anger. But instead, I took a breath, told them I was hurt, and removed myself from the situation.
Alone, I wrote about my feelings. Journaling helps me understand myself during emotional times. I considered what motivations—theirs and mine—caused our reactions. I realized my friend’s cruel words likely stemmed from anger, not truth. That didn’t excuse her behavior, but it helped me understand she struggles with controlling emotions.
When I need more wisdom, I pray. I ask God for clarity, strength to move forward healthily, and forgiveness. Prayer clears my mind and calms my thoughts.
While harmful speech cannot be tolerated, I didn’t want to abandon my friend. So we spoke openly. I set boundaries, stated their behavior was unacceptable, but focused on solutions for the future rather than blame for the past. All issues must be addressed, but finger pointing rarely helps.
In processing emotions, I’ve found these steps useful:
- Pause reactive emotions
- Seek space for clarity
- Write out and examine my feelings
- Strive to understand others’ motivations
- Take constructive action to move forward
I hope these reflections help others manage difficult emotions. Wishing you peace in the New Year.
-JKG
HopeFul Reflections 
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